I would love to open this post with something cool and fun or exciting, but i’m afraid it’s not. I don’t write many posts like this anymore and it is probably going to be the most sombre post I write here, well for a while at-least. Thing is, I don’t want it to be sombre, I want it to be a good reminder, and a fat wake up to all of us out there, who regularly do, what I spent the whole weekend doing, because it’s not great you guys, it’s actually disgusting and it should stop.
So you are wondering what I am talking about? Well after spending the whole weekend bitching and moaning about my kids, and how tired I was, and how exhausting they are, on Snapchat, and to friends, and after virtually using the whole weekend to shout, and behave in a very shitty way toward them, because of my own selfish reasons, and really not thinking much of it, I opened Facebook this morning only to see the saddest news. A darling little girl had lost her life after a battle with childhood leukemia. She was only 4!
So you are saying to me, what makes this instance so different? Children die young everyday in this world, and although that is true, the reason I wanted to write this post is because her passing has hit quite close to home. I actually have met this little girl and her parents, and also have been following this little soul’s battle with the illness that finally claimed her. For almost all of her 4 whole years of life, while following her story I noted times when she was very ill and keeping her in my thoughts and also rejoicing at the times she had overcome a new hurdle and made it to the other side in victory. At one point she had managed to get to the top of the hill and go into remission, and once again begin to live a pretty normal life, then BAM in January it all started going downhill again, and finally she just could not anymore. The loss is still raw, she only left her family yesterday so I am not going to draw any attention to any family details here, as to respect their mourning time. I do however want to write this post because this has hit me hard and in a very close to home kind of way because my youngest child is only just a little younger than this girl child, and so I really want all of you to sit up, wake up and realize something really important in what I am about to say.
What I want you all to realize is the following. It is to tell you all, the Parents to hold your children close, as if it is the last time you will ever see them, the last time you will ever hear their voices, the last time you can ever tell them you love them! Tell them you love them, tell them all the time. Don’t think they don’t need or want to hear it. they thrive on it no matter how old they are. I bet this little girls parents wished they had one more chance. Stop bitching about sleepless nights, or exhausting activities and kids with hectic schedules and too much homework or sports activities or what you can or can’t afford for them. I am reminded heavily here of the recent post by a blogger, that was faced with a random shopper woman belittling her choice in clothing for her son, and not only to her face but to her son directly, telling him that his mother was embarrassing him. I mean really lady? Seriously? There are just so many more important things to teach and tell your children. Showing them love and respect for themselves and each other to start. This little boy wearing his Pepstores ( Which I buy from often I will have you know) outfit, knows his mother loves him because she shows it to him openly, she takes the time to cloth him as best she can too, and he sees her love and he hears her say it. He doesn’t care if it has a brand named label on it. He just cares to hear his Mother loves him. I don’t feel badly for him at all, I do however feel bad for the young boy who is growing up thinking money and status items equals love. In twenty years I would like to see which son still has time for his parents and willingly gives it. I truly hope, that this mother gets a chance to make it right with her son one day, perhaps before it is even to late to do so.
This post is really very deep I know, I don’t want to put a damper on your Monday, but I really just want to you all to see, that the little beings we were so graciously given to care for, are only here as a loan, they can get called back at any time. Do not let a moment go buy to show your child the love and respect he or she deserves. Yes we get irritated and frustrated and we are only human I know. Don’t be fooled by that trap though, I know I do. Snap out of it and focus. Be real about it yes, but also be vigilant about letting your irritations and frustrations govern the space that is meant to be filled with a love and a deep love at that.
In my opinion, no parent should ever have to say goodbye to their child first. It is my biggest fear and although this tragic loss of this little life is incredibly sad, it has also sadly been a stiff reminder to me once again, and it has made me sit up and realize how damn selfish I have been. What I mean by that, is that I took time away from loving my kids this weekend, and that is just not on, and for a little while I loved them only because I had to. (Yes I still love them regardless, they are my children, but for a brief moment I didn’t love them unconditionally, and that is actually unfathomable to me but I did it without thinking)
This weekend should have been filled with celebrations and laughter, given that my eldest child achieved some great things at school, and my middle child go to play in his very first hockey match, yet instead it was filled with angry moments of shouting and arguing instead. That time is lost, we can never have it back. All that is left for me to do now is to actively ask them to forgive me for being so very selfish and petty, and hope that we can move forward from here.
I am not unrealistic, I know there will be moments where I lose the plot again, but my hope for my children is that they will know every waking moment of every day that I love them deeply and unconditionally and that my life would mean little or nothing without them.
So go home and love your children, hold them close and assure them that your love for them is unconditional and forever. If my post has touched you in any way, I would love to hear from you. Please share it with friends that you may think would like to read it too.