So have you had The talk yet? The one with your kids about The Birds and the Bees?

So have you had The talk yet? The one with your kids about The Birds and the Bees?

It is by no means an easy thought or a walk in the park to approach. In fact the thought in its entirety makes me want to curl up onto a little ball and hide somewhere until someone else has done it. Ok, THERE! I said it, I am a wuss and I am not ready for this.
Actually what I want to say in this post is that this topic is something really important to get into from a really early age, even before your kids reach primary school level. Don’t leave it or you will have your hands full and be faced with the ugly reality that you should have done it sooner.  Face it, it is not going to go away and it needs to be dealt with sooner rather than later.

I have 3 children, the eldest a girl being 9 and a bit. Thing is 9 year old’s of today are a whole lot different to when I was that age. I realised this one day by way of a nice level slap in the face when after one of her friend’s Birthday sleepovers, (Thank goodness only my best friends daughter) Cindy, that’s my best friend, hit me with the question right square between the eyes “So did you know our girls are already talking about Oral sex at school?” WHOA stop the Bus I really want to get off!

“Come again I said?” She explained that at the party all the girls had been giggling about this new idea they had heard of when some kid, had made the inappropriate choice of trying to incorrectly explain the act to them and then they subsequently made up their minds themselves as to what that all meant.  We are still not sure what the situation of that child was, and he was handled appropriately by his teachers, for obviously there were some things that needed sorting out and talking through with his parents. But getting back to the topic though, we realized we had a problem, in that we had allowed a random kid at school to dish out very wrong information to our daughter’s, because we had left it too late to have a proper discussion ourselves with them, and now our job was to go back and fix the mess. We were also really shocked that this was already the run of the mill kind of topic grade 3 kids are being faced with. I say Bring me those Stickeez, as annoying as it is having 3 kids who want them they are just so much more appropriate and so much more like what my sensitive mommy brain can handle without needing to verbalize and discuss the act of fellatio  to my 9-year-old. 

“Come again I said?”

Luckily Cindy and I both have very open relationships with our daughters and they know that they can come and talk to us about anything and we will give them the most honest and open answers. Since then we have sat with them and helped them understand that it would be so much better for them to come to us with things they had heard at school that they were unsure of or that sounded strange instead of relying on a whole broken telephone system of getting information about something.

I myself have already had the “Where do babies come from?” and menstruation talk with her and not so very long ago she started with growing pains in her breasts and off we went to buy a bra so we have had the entire puberty talk too. I am still left facing the talk with her about all the changes a boy goes through but I have found some great resources I plan on using for that. And also it helped a lot that both my husband and I make a habit of calling private parts by their actual names.  That is really a very important thing to do, that way there is no confusion later.

Don’t underestimate the power of books that can do the talking for you if you are really just not sure how to approach it.  I can remember when I was a pre-teen and my own mother had not been talking to me about “growing up” how but just knew I would come right in the public library and I did. I was too embarrassed to check the book out and take it home so I sat on the floor of the library for weeks after school devouring the pages of a book I found in the teen section. THAT people right there is how I got my sex education and in those days there was nothing about Oral sex in those books let me tell you!

So I thought I would share some of the resources I had come across online that I have checked out and considered getting for when the questions get tougher and also for my younger kids I plan on starting a whole lot earlier with them,  so that the same doesn’t end up happening. I have added the descriptions for each book for you as I found them on Amazon.

The first two books are the ones I chose to get for us first.  They are really well thought out and I loved that I was able to preview them inside before buying so I knew what I was going to be getting.

Check out the preview for the first book called It’s Perfectly Normal by Robie H. Harris and Michael Emberley here It is also available on Takealot for R182 and is in print and e-book format.

The definitive book about puberty and sexual health for today’s kids and teens, now fully updated for its twentieth anniversary.  For two decades, this universally acclaimed book on sexuality has been the most trusted and accessible resource for kids, parents, teachers, librarians, and anyone else who cares about the well-being of tweens and teens. Now, in honor of its anniversary, It’s Perfectly Normal has been updated with information on subjects such as safe and savvy Internet use, gender identity, emergency contraception, and more. Providing accurate and up-to-date answers to nearly every imaginable question, from conception and puberty to birth control and STDs, It’s Perfectly Normal offers young people the information they need—now more than ever—to make responsible decisions and stay healthy.
The definitive book about puberty and sexual health for today’s kids and teens, now fully updated for its twentieth anniversary.
For two decades, this universally acclaimed book on sexuality has been the most trusted and accessible resource for kids, parents, teachers, librarians, and anyone else who cares about the well-being of tweens and teens. Now, in honor of its anniversary, It’s Perfectly Normal has been updated with information on subjects such as safe and savvy Internet use, gender identity, emergency contraception, and more. Providing accurate and up-to-date answers to nearly every imaginable question, from conception and puberty to birth control and STDs, It’s Perfectly Normal offers young people the information they need—now more than ever—to make responsible decisions and stay healthy.

This was my Favorite one that I think it is the most age appropriate to start with called “It’s Not the Stork”, This is the one I chose to get for us first.  If you would like to see a preview of the Book Click here it is availble to buy locally on Takealot for R168 for the print and is also in an e-book format.

From the expert team behind IT'S PERFECTLY NORMAL and IT'S SO AMAZING! comes a book for younger children about their bodies — a resource that parents, teachers, librarians, health care providers, and clergy can use with ease and confidence. Young children are curious about almost everything, especially their bodies. And young children are not afraid to ask questions. What makes me a girl? What makes me a boy? Why are some parts of girls' and boys' bodies the same and why are some parts different? How was I made? Where do babies come from? Is it true that a stork brings babies to mommies and daddies?  IT'S NOT THE STORK! helps answer these endless and perfectly normal questions that preschool, kindergarten, and early elementary school children ask about how they began. Through lively, comfortable language and sensitive, engaging artwork, Robie H. Harris and Michael Emberley address readers in a reassuring way, mindful of a child's healthy desire for straightforward information. Two irresistible cartoon characters, a curious bird and a squeamish bee, provide comic relief and give voice to the full range of emotions and reactions children may experience while learning about their amazing bodies. Vetted and approved by science, health, and child development experts, the information is up-to-date, age-appropriate, and scientifically accurate, and always aimed at helping kids feel proud, knowledgeable, and comfortable about their own bodies, about how they were born, and about the family they are part of.
From the expert team behind IT’S PERFECTLY NORMAL and IT’S SO AMAZING! comes a book for younger children about their bodies — a resource that parents, teachers, librarians, health care providers, and clergy can use with ease and confidence.
Young children are curious about almost everything, especially their bodies. And young children are not afraid to ask questions. What makes me a girl? What makes me a boy? Why are some parts of girls’ and boys’ bodies the same and why are some parts different? How was I made? Where do babies come from? Is it true that a stork brings babies to mommies and daddies?
IT’S NOT THE STORK! helps answer these endless and perfectly normal questions that preschool, kindergarten, and early elementary school children ask about how they began. Through lively, comfortable language and sensitive, engaging artwork, Robie H. Harris and Michael Emberley address readers in a reassuring way, mindful of a child’s healthy desire for straightforward information. Two irresistible cartoon characters, a curious bird and a squeamish bee, provide comic relief and give voice to the full range of emotions and reactions children may experience while learning about their amazing bodies. Vetted and approved by science, health, and child development experts, the information is up-to-date, age-appropriate, and scientifically accurate, and always aimed at helping kids feel proud, knowledgeable, and comfortable about their own bodies, about how they were born, and about the family they are part of.
A comic book for kids that includes children and families of all makeups, orientations, and gender identies, Sex Is a Funny Word is an essential resource about bodies, gender, and sexuality for children ages 8 to 10 as well as their parents and caregivers. Much more than the "facts of life" or “the birds and the bees," Sex Is a Funny Word opens up conversations between young people and their caregivers in a way that allows adults to convey their values and beliefs while providing information about boundaries, safety, and joy.
A comic book for kids that includes children and families of all makeups, orientations, and gender identies, Sex Is a Funny Word is an essential resource about bodies, gender, and sexuality for children ages 8 to 10 as well as their parents and caregivers. Much more than the “facts of life” or “the birds and the bees,” Sex Is a Funny Word opens up conversations between young people and their caregivers in a way that allows adults to convey their values and beliefs while providing information about boundaries, safety, and joy.

Available on Takealot for R333

The essential guidebook for every girl. The Period Book is a reassuring must-read for every girl about to have her period, and every parent wishing to prepare a daughter for this important milestone. With more than 300,000 copies sold, The Period Book stands out from the pack by specifically addressing younger girls. And with eleven now the average age at which girls get their period, this supportive and practical approach, providing clear and sensitive answers to common questions, is evern more welcome today. The revised edition includes a new introduction for parents and an additional chapter about body image.
The essential guidebook for every girl.
The Period Book is a reassuring must-read for every girl about to have her period, and every parent wishing to prepare a daughter for this important milestone. With more than 300,000 copies sold, The Period Book stands out from the pack by specifically addressing younger girls. And with eleven now the average age at which girls get their period, this supportive and practical approach, providing clear and sensitive answers to common questions, is evern more welcome today.
The revised edition includes a new introduction for parents and an additional chapter about body image.

Available on Takealot for R153

These books are really great and will open up a wealth of very difficult topics to discuss but they really will make the process so much easier for you.  Kids also really like pictures, it helps them to see a lot clearer.  So don’t wait like I did. Do the talk or at least some of it as early as possible.  You will be surprised at how much they really can take in from a very young age and that way you will equip them with the correct information before someone else comes a long and give them the completely wrong idea.  From a safety perspective it is also a really good idea to give kids the tools to deal with bad situations too so think about that when you are having your talk.

Take care

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