I have 3 children,1 husband and 1 double bed which makes for interesting olympian style contortionistic fun And games when it comes to the subject of sleep. Having a parenting style of the AP persuasion with bed sharing being the order of the day, neither myself or my husband have had the simple luxury of effortless, restful sleep in going on 7 years, Where my 3 children seem to have boundless uncontainable energy! I want that energy.
When talking to other members of the “Attachment parenting movement” I get the idea that we are doing something seriously wrong with regards to our bed-sharing setup. As of yet however, and with that I mean, in the last 6 years, we have not been able to entertain or maintain any other workable solution within the confines of our 4 bedroom walls other than that of two adults and 1 or more kids all in our painfully small double bed at the same time. Nights in our bed may at any given time look like a cleverly constructed acrobatic circus act minus the music and lights, when in actual fact it vaguely reflects a form of torture favoured by the Japanese during WW2. Hallucinations, paranoia and disorientation are all symptoms experienced by the seriously sleep deprived, as was noted of those undergoing sleep deprivation torture and as is noted to be a similar scenario of the bed sharing sleep deprived parents out there. So why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we carry on and”allow” this, allow this “manipulation” as many mainstream parents would call it? We do it simply for 2 very plain reasons…..
1. For me, I simply love to be able to just cuddle with my kids and as a working parent its a special connect time With them.
2. We really believe we are nurturing truly independent children with a greater self reliance and social independence by allowing them the freedom to choose when they are ready to leave “the nest” so to speak.
So the song we often have tossing around in our head is the good old nursery rhyme of “There were 5 in the bed and the little one said Roll over roll over, so they all rolled over and the one fell out, there were 4 in the bed and the little one said…. Good night, Sleep tight!
And they did, and they lived happily ever after…. Well until about 1pm the next day when it all started to crash and burn and the bruise of the babies head butt, a gift for you during the course of the night, starts to appear and you start to experience those torture symptoms and you wonder just exactly where it was you went wrong, and you have to remind yourself that actually, this exactly how it is supposed to be.